Here I am on Christmas morning in 1973. I think I look really gay in that picture. Our grandparents would send our parents money and have them buy presents for us. Each year we took a picture like this holding up the gifts we got with the money the grandparents sent. For some reason I can't find the picture from 1974.

Merry Christmas

While most people were spending the day with their families, I spent the day alone. It was my choice. I did some of the things I enjoy doing. I watched several holiday movies that give me that warm feeling I remember from my childhood. Some of the movies I discovered in recent years and aren't necessarily from my childhood but give me a nice warm feeling. The movies I watched today were Christmas In Connecticut, Meet Me In St. Louis, Holiday Inn, and Shop Around The Corner. These movies weren't actually on TV today. I taped them last night while I was out. I went out on Christmas Eve with David and Ken. We went to Annies downtown for dinner and then upstairs to Windows for drinks. There weren't many people there so we went over to JR's. There was very little eye candy so we went back to Windows for a drink and then onto Cobalt. David and I had a HUGE laugh in the bathroom there. It was a very fun evening. Ken and David know how to cheer me up and make me feel better. Also, on the ride to DC, David gave me a present. He gave me the iTrip. It lets me play my iPod through a radio. It's the coolest little device. It was the only present I received this year. Thank you David, I love ya!

After watching one movie this morning I decided not to lay around all day watching movies. Besides being very cold, it was a beautiful day. The sky was clear and the sun was out. I wanted to go out somewhere. I decided on going to Turkey Run Park to take a hike and to take some photos. It's only about a 20 minute drive. There were very few people there. I had not been there before so I drove around and found several parking lots with different trails to hike on. I went to each one actually and walked around looking for the best trail. At each spot I took a few pictures. At the last lot I took a longer walk that took me down to the Potomac River. It was quite a climb down and back up a rather steep incline. I was out of breath by the time I got back to the top. I think I got a few good photos. While I was there driving from one lot to the next, I noticed several cars with men in them. They were also driving from lot to lot looking at the other guys in the cars. It wasn't until I was leaving the last lot that I realized what was happening. These guys were cruising for sex. I was a little shocked because it was Christmas Day. I didn't actually see any sex or any of them getting in each other's cars but I knew that's what they were there for. None of them were out hiking the trails or looking at the nature.

Since I'm creating my own traditions for the holidays, I think I'll make going some place to take pictures each year on Christmas Day will become one of my traditions. I haven't taken a hike in awhile and I haven't taken nature pictures in awhile. I had a good time and it felt good getting out into the cold weather on such a nice day.

Burnt Popcorn

I thought there'd be a new episode of Will and Grace on tonight but they were both reruns. I watched them anyway. I attempted to pop a bag of popcorn to enjoy while watching the reruns but I let it go a bit too long and it burned. Figures. Reruns and burnt popcorn.

On a brighter note, I talked to Homer this morning. He always cheers me up with his stories. Although, we digressed onto a topic that I only discuss with my best friend, David. I've met a few people in 2004 but Homer has definitely been the best.

Have you seen that commercial for the office supply store Staples? It's the one where the old lady is taking a picture of her family but she's using a stapler. I LOVE that commercial. It's so funny.

The first day of my vacation was filled with lots of laying on the couch doing nothing eating all the junk my students gave me as gifts. At this rate I'll gain 10 pounds in the 10 days I'm off. Not good.

I guess I'll stick with the same new year's resolution next year.

Pissed Off

First off, I'm not buying a new car. Besides the fact that Homer is right and I don't need a car and should put the money towards my retirement, I've realized that I was buying a new car for the wrong reasons. I would be buying a new car to make me feel better for being lonely and depressed about being alone on Christmas. I'm an adult and should recognize these feelings and not try to placate them with things like a new car. So I've decided to be an adult and not waste money on something I don't need. I will put the money towards my retirement and deal with the way I'm feeling right now.

I had a long, sometimes heated, discussion with my mother on the phone this evening. I come from a large family and all my brothers and sisters are married and have their own families. My mother is convinced that we will never get together as a family again. She can't understand why we all don't work together to have a gathering. She feels it's her fault that we aren't all getting together for Christmas. My brothers and sisters are trying to establish their own Christmas traditions and they don't include the entire family. I've accepted that. I also accepted that until I have a boyfriend, I'll probably be alone on Christmas. I've accepted that as well. I don't like it, but I can deal with it.

Tonight I finally told her the real reasons why I don't want to get together with my family. I told her that I feel bad or left out when my brothers and sisters sit around on Christmas morning opening presents and I sit there and have nothing to open. It's just sad. I also told her that this year I don't want to be around them because almost all of them are republicans and voted for the idiot in office. I am still pissed off with this election and the people in my life who I know voted the wrong way. I just can't stand to be around these people. It just eats me up inside to know that people so close to me basically voted against me and a life I hope to have someday. Finally, I told her that as we've gotten older, we have nothing in common. I have nothing to talk to my family about. They all have kids and the kids are their focus. That's all they talk about. That's all my mother talks about when she calls…everything she did with the grandkids. I'm so sick of hearing about it. Again, the last thing I want to do is sit around for hours with all my brothers and sisters and hear about every little thing their kids have done lately. I just don't want to do that. Mother was crying most of this conversation. She just can't see how things are changing in our family and she can't have things the way she wants them to be. The thing is I'm not the only one in the family who feels this way and doesn't want to spend time with the other members of the family. So it's not a gay thing.

A lot of things have pissed me off today. Well, not just today but it seems a lot of little things lately are making me mad. Everyday I see on the news how some christian group is protesting this or that saying they are being put down because of their religion. They feel that since they voted the idiot back in office he owes them something. I heard on the news tonight that several churches are boycotting stores that don't have “Merry Christmas” in their stores or advertisements. I'm telling you this country is going backwards. Christians are taking over and making it their agenda that their religion is the only one. I'm so sick of these people. I'm scared. This is just the beginning. I hear people say that it would never get as extreme as it was in the 50s and 60s but I have my doubts. Mark my word that it will get a lot worse before it gets better. Before you know it, people will be going back in the closet. Fuckin' christians. Mind your own damn business, live your life the way you want, and leave the rest of us alone.

One more thing pissed me off today. Well, not just today but everyday. I tend to leave for work at the same time each day. So do other people. I tend to see the same people in their cars at the lights and stop signs at the same time. I get to this one light and every single day there is this women in a Toyota Camry who comes up in the right lane with her high beam lights on. Now I can understand it happening once by mistake, but this lady has them on EVERY SINGLE DAY! What is wrong with this stupid bitch? Does she not realize they are on EVERY SINGLE DAY? These are the kind of people who piss me off. Every time I see her I try to get her attention to tell her they are on but she never looks in my direction. I hate people like this. How stupid can you be? Why is this country so full of stupid people? I just want to scream sometimes!

Christmas sucks!

Homer Has A Hernia

Today my good blogger friend Homer, had penis enlargement hernia surgery. I thought about him a few times today. I wondered if everything was going well. Then this evening I got a call from him and he said the enlargement surgery went well and he was currently taking some vicodin to ease the pain. He was just a little out of it but was able to talk for awhile on the phone.

After discussing his enlargement surgery, I told him about my plan to buy a new car. He thought that was great but then played devil's advocate and suggested I put the money I'd be paying monthly for the car into my retirement plan. I explained to him that I'm a typical capitalistic, materialistic American and want a new car. I know I don't need a new car. I did receive an e-mail quote from the dealer today that I thought was pretty good. I also talked to my insurance guy and he informed me my insurance won't go up all that much for the new car. However, the dealer told me the car I want in the exact configuration I want isn't available in all of North America. But really all that means is I can't have the exact color I want. I plan to go on Thursday (my first day of my winter vacation) and check out the car close up. I plan to test drive it and ask all the questions I have. IF they have one in an acceptable color and they answer my questions to my satisfaction, I might go ahead and get it. But right now it's all still up in the air.

Anyway, wish my good blogger friend, Homer well wishes for his recovery. He should be back to fucking moving around fine in a few days.

Winter Weather

Winter has finally arrived. Yesterday the wind picked up from the northwest and howled through my balcony door all night. It whistled between the two panes of glass. The sound was annoying and woke me up several times last night. We also had the first snow yesterday. It began as rain but as the temperature dropped it turned to snow. We barely got a dusting and it was flying around the streets this morning.

When I got into my SUV this morning, I was kicking myself for not getting the heated seats. It took awhile for it to warm up too. I only have a 10 minute drive to work so it took the whole time to get completely warm inside. I'm getting the itch to buy a new car. The one I have is only 3 years old and I don't have a car payment but I think I'm ready for something new. I've been checking out the BMW 325Ci but I think it's out of my price range with the features I want. I've also looked into the Volvo S40 T5 AWD. I think I'll have to go test drive one on Thursday. I'm going to do some internet research tonight to check it out even more. I have to find out how much my insurance will go up though. If it's too high, I won't buy one. But I really like they way the new style looks for 2005. We'll see.

I've got the heat on in my condo right now. I hardly ever put the heat on because it stays comfortable in here for most of the winter without the heat. But tonight I can't seem to get warm. I have two pairs of socks on and my feet are still cold. It's supposed to be warmer for a few days and then turn cold again by Christmas. Time for hot chocolate and cookies.

Book Time

I've had this book sitting on my night stand for 2 months. I've been reading it slowly, just a few pages a night. Last night I finally sat down and finished it. It's not that I wasn't enjoying it. I've just had other things to do besides making time to enjoy a book. I'm glad I finished it because it's actually a pretty good book. The main character who tells the story is very similar to me. He's a teacher. He pains after the love of his life. And he deals with his friends problems more then his own until a time comes when they come through for him. You follow the story of a bunch of friends who make a deal to find love before the end of the year. Throughout the year you read about their dates and all the things that go on in their lives. The ending is a little predictable and comes on a little fast. It actually tightens things up just right though. I'd recommend this book to anyone who enjoys gay romantic comedy type stories. It's not the read of your life but I think you'd enjoy it. I'll be checking out a few of his other books.

Next up is Magical Thinking by Augusten Burroughs. I've read his 3 previous books and loved them all. I've been waiting for this one to come out for awhile. I got it while in the middle of reading the last book but decided to finish that one before jumping into this one. I've tried reading multiple books at the same time but it just doesn't work for me. I'm really looking forward to this book because when I was reading Dry and Running With Scissors I was dating Shawn. He and I were reading the books at the same time and had some great discussions about the books. Reading this one will bring back some nice memories even if we aren't together or even speaking anymore. Anyway, I really like the way Burroughs rights and completely enjoy his stories. I know I'll enjoy this book as well and wait with anticipation for his next.

From the publisher:

A contest of wills with a deranged cleaning lady. The execution of a rodent carried out with military precision and utter horror. Telemarketing revenge. A different kind of “roof work.” Dating an undertaker who drives a mini-van. This is the fabric of Augusten Burroughs's life: a collection of true stories that are universal in their appeal yet unabashedly intimate, stories that shine a flashlight into both dark and hilarious places.


I spent most of the day with my artist friend, Bob. We spent a few hours photographing a model we've both worked with in the past. We decided to learn a bit more about lighting and try using lights during our shoot. Some of my photos came out nice but others just didn't look right to me. We tried several different combinations of lights, amounts of light, and combinations of natural and artificial light. I've decided that I prefer natural light over artificial or studio light. It just looks more natural and captures skin tones more realistically to me.

While I take my photos and post them on my web page, Bob takes his and creates some amazing artwork with them. He is now selling some of his pieces on eBay. You can see them/bid on them here. I'm not sure exactly what the process is, but he takes the photos, prints them on special paper and then does some kind of transfer process. He brought some of his work with him to show me. And he gave me one extraordinary transfer. It's of a beautiful man who looks like an angel. It reminds me of a vintage photo. I'll definitely get this framed and hung in a special place. I predict Bob will become a popular artist in the gay world (even though he's straight) because so many of his prints include beautiful men. If you haven't seen his work, check out his web site and his eBay sales. I have a feeling you'll enjoy it.

Before Bob left, I became brave enough to pose nude for him to do a few sketches of me. I think he did a great job. Of course I really need to lose some more weight before I have him sketch me again. I won't be sharing those drawings. They are for my private collection.