For 38 years my mother created a wonderful Thanksgiving meal for sometimes 23 family members. I remember having such a great feeling with everyone sitting around the table with their plates full talking about all kinds of things. We'd usually talk about things that happened to us years ago and have a great laugh. We had the traditional family Thanksgiving. It wasn't until we started to grow up, get married and have kids that things began to change. We started having a kids table and no one wanted to sit there. There were too many adults to sit around the table. Some went to their spouses families for the holiday. Others moved too far away to make the trip. Times change. Two years ago my mother decided it was too much work for her at her age. All of my brothers and sisters and I told her we would all pitch in and make it work but she just didn't want to do it anymore. So last year I went to my brother's house for Thanksgiving. It was fine but of course it wasn't the same. It was me, my mother, and my brother and his family. It wasn't the huge traditional Thanksgiving I was used to and loved. This year I was invited to my sister's house but I declined her invitation. I realized I didn't want to spend time with people who would vote Bush back into office. Don't get me wrong. I love my family.

Last year for Christmas the same sister who invited me to Thanksgiving this year, had most of my family out to her place. The year before my mother decided she didn't want to have the entire family at her house for Christmas. My sister decided on her own that it would be at her house. She didn't ask any of us what we wanted to do, she just decided on her own. I was not happy with that decision so I didn't go. I'm not planning on attending Christmas again this year no matter where it's held. It's become a depressing event. My eight nieces and nephews get spoiled with junk that will get thrown out before next year and the adults all exchange presents with their spouses. I don't have a spouse so I don't get anything. It's awkward sitting there watching everyone else open presents and you don't have any to open. Also, my parents stopped giving us gifts years ago. I know “it's better to give then to receive” but it's nice to get something too.

It's time for me to create my own traditions for these holidays.

I know some people get together with friends and all cook different parts of the meal for Thanksgiving but I don't know enough friends to do that. And the ones I do know already have their traditions set. Last year on Thanksgiving I put up my Christmas tree. I'm not doing that this year. If the weather is nice I might take a bike ride or go see a movie or lay around all day reading. I just don't know.

And I have no idea about Christmas. That's still a bit far away for me to decide what to do. I'll think about that later. I have 3 days of work this week and then a nice 4 day weekend. Maybe that's what the holidays will become for me, another day off.