First dates can be very awkward. There are so many things that can complicate the event. Whether you chat with a guy online or meet him in a bar, there are things to think about when having a first date.
You first have to decide on where to meet. Will it be for coffee, a drink, or dinner? Near where you live or near where he lives? Depending on how strongly you feel about these decisions you could really let him decide. I actually prefer to have coffee or a drink. I'm a very picky eater and agreeing on a restaurant might be difficult. I also prefer to meet closer to my place. I'll feel more comfortable coming back to my place if I find him interesting and want to learn more about him. And when it comes to paying, make sure it's dutch. The first date with a guy shouldn't be one person paying for the other. Do you want him to think he owes you something more or you owe him something more?
Another point is what to wear. You don't want to get all dressed up and give the guy the impression that you are a sharp dresser all the time when in actuality you wear jeans and tee shirts. If you don't get dressed up though, he may think you're a bum. It's so complicated. Take the middle ground and dress casual. I have learned to dress like I normally would so as not to give the impression that I'm something I'm not. Depending on the temperature, I'd wear jeans or shorts and a plaid shirt. My basic uniform. And are you even thinking about what he's going to wear?
Having things to talk about on a first date can be tricky as well. If you have talked on the phone before hand and have already found out all the things you were curious about, what will you talk about on the date? I've done that in the past and found myself asking the same questions on the first date that I asked when we talked on the phone. It made me sound like I wasn't listening the first time we talked. You don't want to have any of those awkward silences that signal the date should end soon. Oh, and definitely avoid controversial topics. Stay away from politics, religion, and sexual proclivities. And definitely don't talk about your ex-boyfriends. Unless of course he asks you about them. Recent first dates for me consisted completely of conversations about ex-boyfriends. I say this is a bad thing but you can actually find out more about the current guy and what happened with the ex then you could if you didn't talk about them.
What about the end of the evening? Should you kiss? Have sex? It has been my experience that having sex on the first date dooms the possibility of the relationship. In my most successful relationship we didn't have sex for almost 5 weeks of seeing each other. Then again, we're not together today so maybe that's bullshit. I guess you have to go with your gut feeling. If the chemistry is right and things feel good, go for it. But if you have the slightest hesitation looming in your mind, avoid the sex. A kiss is nice. But who initiates it? Don't be too eager but don't let the chance to feel his lips pass either. When the evening is obviously over and you are saying your goodbyes, simply lean in slightly and if he is feeling it too, a kiss will occur. If the first kiss leads to a second then maybe a little tongue can be added. But don't go overboard. Just give him a taste of what's to come. Jamming your tongue down his throat might be turn off on the first date.
Ah, first dates can be so complicated but they can also be so exciting. The chance of new love gives you that warm fuzzy feeling….and a woody sometimes. Anyone want to go out?