You might remember from previous posts that I had a boyfriend in 2003 that I was really in love with and wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Well, in early November 2003, he decided we shouldn't be together anymore because of the distance between us. He moved to Oklahoma to take a job. He wasn't happy with his job at the time and didn't feel like he fit in on the east coast so he accepted the job and in September moved. I was crushed of course. In those earlier posts I wrote about missing him, etc. The last time I spoke to him was in November. I told him then I didn't think I could talk to him for awhile. I'd have to get over him before we could be friends. Even though I didn't keep up with Shawn, he kept up with me. He continued to read my web page. And then when I started the blog in November, he was able to keep up with me even more. I had no idea what was going on in his life but he knew what was going on in mine. I was unaware of this until I switched to my own domain name and could see, through the statistics, what IP addresses were checking out my pages. I noticed two addresses from Oklahoma. I figured it had to be him because I didn't know anyone else who lived there currently. I wrote about this in an earlier. Then two weeks ago I got an e-mail from him. He said he was embarrassed that he was checking out my page but wanted to let me know he was. I wrote back and said it was good to hear from him and that he could check out the blog anytime he wanted to. We e-mailed back and forth and then started talking on the phone. The first phone call was an hour and a half long. Luckily we both have Sprint so the call didn't cost us a thing. Since then we've talked a few times on the phone and exchanged e-mails. He knows that I still love him and probably will the rest of my life. I know that we can't be together because of the distance. We are going to be great friends and stay in touch often. Shawn was much more then your average boyfriend. He actually touched me. I felt that I could have spent the rest of my life with him. It was very hard getting over that feeling and who knows if I am over it or not. All I know is that I'm very glad we are friends and we will stay in touch with each other. I've hesitated writing about this because of the recent changes in my relationship with Brad. I thought he might think I took the changes well because of Shawn re-entering my life. I don't know if he'll feel that way or not. In any case, welcome back, Shawn.

Yesterday I had lunch with Brad. I picked him up at his office and we went to a little greek place in Alexandria. I can't think of the name of it. Surprisingly they had calzones, which is an italian thing I think. I had a cheese calzone. It was very good but too much cheese for one sitting. I enjoyed it though. Anyway, Brad and I had some nice conversation. I mentioned to him that I noticed he hadn't been reading my blog lately. He said he didn't want to read the bad things I might have written about him since he changed the status of our relationship. I assured him that I had not written anything bad about him. I told him I only wrote one post about the changes in our relationship and that was all. I'm fine with the changes that have taken place. I realize he's extremely busy and stressed with his job. I understand that he doesn't have the time to put into developing a relationship. I think he knows I'm okay with it. I have all the time in the world for things to develop at a later time if they happen to go in that direction. Anyway, lunch was nice and it was good to see him. He was all dressed up in his suit and tie and looked really good. So after lunch I took him back to his office. I asked if he wanted to get together this weekend if he wasn't working and he said he would let me know. We might see a movie or something. We'll see.

I had another dream last night. Again, I have no idea what it means. I was at a camp site with many of the people i work with. One of our leaders was talking, telling the group what we were to do that day. He was giving assignments. I was just sitting there listening and chatting with my colleagues. Then I heard the leader say Brad. I can remember turning my head in the dream and seeing Brad sitting there reading one of the books he has written. He wasn't paying attention to what was going on. He just waved his hand as if to say he heard and kept on reading the book. Then I heard one of my colleagues (one I don't care for) shout a few things about Brad, about things Brad is known for doing (going to bed early, getting up early, etc.). The colleague was trying to make a joke or something. Everyone laughed but I didn't get it. Then there was a distraction to my left. We all turned just in time to see one of our colleagues falling out of a tree she had been climbing. Right after everyone asked if she was okay, the dream ended and I woke up. I don't know what all this means or why I'm having dreams that I'm remembering but I'm going to chalk it up to taking that Entex for my sinuses and leave it at that. I'm not going to take the Entex anymore in the evenings. I'll only take it in the mornings. I need to get a good nights sleep. I only slept 4 hours last night. But I did take a two hour nap this afternoon. I'm feeling pretty good.