At night, just after putting my head on the pillow and just before I drift off to sleep, I'm reminded when you're body used to be next to mine. I'd stretch my arm around your body and hold you close like two spoons in the silverware drawer. I'd listen to the air enter and exit your lungs and feel your chest move as you fall asleep. As I fall asleep at night, I miss not having you next to me, not feeling your body next to mine. At night I miss you most.