The work day is over. 10 hours and now you can relax. You drop the keys in the basket by the door. You throw the mail on your desk to look at later. You check the voice mail and listen to the to your dentist reminding you to make an appointment and the local candidate beginning his campaign early. You delete both messages. Then you do it. You sit on your bed, slide off your shoes, unbuckle the belt, unbutton the pants and slide them off over your tired legs. Those colored work socks come off next. You wiggle your toes and enjoy how it feels. Then you see them hanging on the hook inside your closet. Those well worn, cotton sweat pants. You hang up your work pants and remove the sweat pants from their hook where they've been waiting all day. They're so soft and warm. You slide one leg in, aiming your foot for the elastic opening. They slide on so easily. You then repeat the process for the other leg. You pull them up and don't feel a constricting belt reminding you that you need to lose a few pounds. Then you forget the e-mails and phone calls that need to be returned, you forget the mail that wants your attention. You pour yourself a glass of white wine, turn on the TV, and melt into the couch to relax. Ahhhh….that feels good.

When I first moved into my condo some 6 1/2 years ago a student gave me a wind chime to hang on my balcony. It was your basic wind chime. It had 4 metal bars that hung down with a square metal piece in the middle that would strike the bars and make a beautiful sound. It wasn't one of those huge obnoxious ones that you get sick of hearing. This one was simple and made a very pleasant sound with the slightest of breezes. I enjoyed it's sound. I looked forward to it when I would sit on my balcony enjoying a smoke.

One day last year we had some really strong winds. The thin strings that held two of the bars gave way and those two bars fell to the ground never to be heard from again. I was a little upset but I wasn't worried. The chime didn't sound the same but it still produced a beautiful sound with the two chimes left hanging. Then in the fall of this year we had another very strong windy day. Yet another metal bar fell to it's death. I was beginning to miss the multiple sound of the chime. One bar could still produce a nice sound but not in conjunction with the metal bar that played a slightly higher note. It was a singular sound now.

It finally happened. Yesterday during the freaky weather we were having the wild wind silenced the wind chime. The last bar could hold on no longer. It's string, weathered over the years, let go and the last chime was finally silenced. I no longer could hear the melodic tone of the wind chime. It was sad.

Spring is right around the corner. Spring is a time of re-birth. Maybe it's time to find a new wind chime to replace the one nature so brutally stole. I know I'll never be able to find one exactly like the one that played that beautiful sound I'd grown so fond of hearing. And so the search begins for it's replacement.

24 hours ago it was 70 degrees. Now it's in the 20's. Today we've seen it all. I woke up and it was raining. Within 3 hours the temperature had dropped 30 degrees and it was starting to snow. It snowed for several hours and we ended up with less then a few inches but with the freezing wind everything froze quickly. When I left work I had to scrape the ice off my car. Now it's windy and cold and just plain bitter outside. I guess the groundhog was right about the 6 more weeks of winter. That six weeks should be up at the end of this week. Does that mean spring weather will be here? I won't hold my breath.

Have you ever noticed how the smallest cuts hurt the most? Today I got the smallest paper cut just at the edge of my finger nail on the third finger on my right hand. It didn't bleed at all but damn, this little cut hurts like hell! Why do these little cuts hurt the most? It's driving me crazy. I can't wait until it heals.

In other news, I called my mother this afternoon and listened to her talk for almost an hour. She tells me all about her weekend and seeing the grandkids and all. Then near the end of the conversation she decides to tell me that she's sick and has shingles. I don't know anything about shingles but I think it mostly effects old people. Actually, I'm not even sure of that. Anyway, she tells me all about it and what medications she's on and how much pain she's in. I feel so bad for her. I plan on stopping by on my way home from work to check in on her tomorrow. I'm sure she'll be okay but she sounds like she's in pain.

I’m sure everyone has gone through this. It seems that men interested in me (or anyone for that matter) comes in waves. For several months you’ll feel down and unwanted when no one is replying to your profiles on Gay.com, Match.com, or the Yahoo personals. You add new pictures, change some words, hang online hoping that someone will notice your profile and ask you out. If you are like me, you never approach anyone because you are too shy or fear rejection. You know this about yourself but never do anything to overcome it. You live your life hoping something will change without doing anything to make that change occur.

Then out of nowhere and for no reason you start getting e-mails, replies to your profiles, and guys chatting you up online. What changed to make this all happen? And then it’s a bit overwhelming. You end up with two or three guys interested in you all at the same time. What do you do? Of course you get lots of interest from men you have absolutely no interest in. You politely send them a message telling them how flattered you are but that you don’t think it’s right. For me these events seem to occur right at the time I am interested in someone and that interest is being returned, it’s mutual. I think I’m at a point in my life where I only want to focus on one person. I want to get it right without overpowering the person and ruining it. I want to take it slow, let it bloom on it’s own. You have to deal with the distractions politely without hurting feelings. It’s a very sticky thing.

Feast or famine (more famine then you care for most of the time). Anyone else experienced this gay phenomenon?