As some of you know, I'm a smoker. However, I only smoke on my balcony. I don't like the smell in my house. On my balcony I have two of those cheap plastic chairs you can buy just about anywhere. This past summer I bought some cheap cushions to go on the chairs. I only kept one out there because no one ever comes over to sit on the balcony. When it's windy I usually take the cushion inside so it doesn't fly away. This morning after my last smoke before work I left the cushion out there because it wasn't windy.

When I got home from work this afternoon I went about my regular routine and went out on the balcony to have a smoke. As soon as I began sliding open the glass door, I realized the cushion wasn't there. At first I thought I had taken it inside in the morning and forgotten. I looked all over the balcony (it's not that large). The fat ass comforting cushion was no where to be seen. When I went inside I looked where I usually put it and it wasn't there. I was starting to wonder what really happened to the cushion.

I went back on the balcony and looked over the edge. Maybe it had fallen down onto the balcony below. Even though I have a major fear of heights (I live on the 7th floor) I leaned over as far as I could to see onto the balcony below. Nope, it wasn't there. I then decided it must have gotten windy during the day and flown all the way down to the ground. I decided that fat ass comforting cushion was worth going downstairs and looking around the ground. I walked to my side of the building and looked all over the place. No cushion.

What happened the the cushion? Did it decide it couldn't take the weight of my fat ass any longer? Had it committed suicide by leaping off the balcony? Had the wind taken it to a new home? Oh the questions that arise! I miss that cushion. Well, the next time I went out to have a smoke I took the other cushion I had bought. Oooo..this one felt great! I must have flattened the other one so much that it barely comforted my fat ass anymore and I hadn't noticed the slow change over time. This one feels good. And it's green and white stripes are all fresh and new. How nice! I'll have to remember to bring it inside each time I'm finished on the balcony. I wouldn't want this one to get tired of my ass and take a leap into the wind.

If you see a faded green and white striped chair cushion floating in the wind, grab it and let it know I miss it and appreciate all the comfort it provided over the last 5 months.