I was in the middle of writing a post about how high the price of gas had gone up when I went to fill up today and how my dry cleaners raised the price of doing my shirts without telling me (and I won’t go back there again), when Brad called. He said he wanted to come over and talk. So I saved what I had already written and waited for Brad to arrive.
I could see it coming over the last few weeks. Brad has been absolutely stressed with work. He has a major project going on and has been very busy. He is completely stressed out. We have spent very little time together over the last few weeks so I knew something would happen soon. So three months to the day that I met Brad, he decided tonight that he shouldn’t be my boyfriend anymore. He feels he can not devote the time that is needed to develop a relationship. He feels it wouldn’t be fair to me to string me along with the thought that this was going somewhere in a positive direction. He did not use the famous dating line I want to be friends. He said he wants to continue to see me from time to time but without the commitment of being boyfriends. He said I was a free agent to date other people. I’m sure I won’t do that. I probably need time to myself anyway. In the past few years it seems I’ve had boyfriend after boyfriend. Maybe I need to be on my own and just go out from time to time without any expectations. Who knows. I’m not mad or disappointed with Brad. I’m not an emotional mess. I actually completely understand where he is coming from and respect him for explaining it so thoroughly. He’s not saying it’s completely over. He just can’t give a relationship the time it needs. He said he still likes me and wants to see me but just can’t deal with the whole learning curve (sleeping patterns, emotional needs, etc.) that is needed when you are in the early stages of dating someone. I know that some of you reading this will say I’m crazy and that Brad just broke up with me and I should see through his words. But I don’t agree. Yes, in a way he did break up with me but not in the traditional gay sense. I’m actually going to be okay with the way we left it. No tears were shed. No raising of voices. It was a mature discussion with specific outcomes. We will still see each other but just not as boyfriends. We already have plans for Friday evening.