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Yesterday, once I realized my father had died and I was sure, I called my family members who were in town and they called other family members. I also called Hospice and they sent out an RN to pronounce him dead. It took an hour and 20 minutes for that guy to show up. While I waited I kept checking to make sure my father was dead. He was.

My brother showed up and we had a good cry. Shortly after the Hospice RN showed up and officially pronounced him dead at 6:59 AM November 15, 2018. The Hospice RN called the funeral home and talked with the nurse on duty to stop medications.

As you saw in the pictures from yesterday, the funeral home showed up and took my father away. He will be cremated on Saturday.

The rest of the family that was in town gathered by noon and started to pack up his room. My sister seems to think that the faster we get his things out, we might get a refund on the portion left for the month. She’s heartless. She’s only been concerned with money during this whole process.

At 3:30 yesterday we met with the funeral home and made all the arrangements. All that’s left is the will and financial stuff. I’m not an executer so I don’t have to worry about that.

Because everything got taken care of yesterday, I came home today. My in-laws are here for 12 days. Thanksgiving is next week.

I took a long walk this afternoon. I walked 2.58 miles with the exercise app. No picture today.

Death

From the November 15th entry in the journal we kept for changes in my father’s health:

1:30 AM – I turned him on his back to help the bed sores. I counted his respirations. Only 13 per minute. His feet are still cold despite it being 75 degrees in the room.

2:20 AM – The night nurse came in to give him his Ativan. I asked for Morphine as well since his breathing is very rough. She agreed. I counted 16 respirations.

3:39 AM – The night nurse came in for a bed check. Dry. 17 respirations. Moving his mouth as he breaths. I haven’t seen him move his mouth for days. His feet are still cold.

4:40 AM – His breathing is very short. 13 respirations. Feet still cold.

5:00 AM – The night nurse came in for a bed check. Changed his diaper and moved him. I used the sponge on a stick to wet his lips and the inside of his mouth. Only 9 respirations.

5:18 AM – Breathing is very short. I tried counting his respirations but only got to 6 and then he stopped breathing. He is dead.

I walked a total of 3.79 miles today.

Rough Day

Today was a long rough day. My father is completely out of it. He doesn’t know us, he doesn’t react, he doesn’t move, he is just taking some labored breaths. We did a good job keeping him comfortable and made sure the nurses came in with his pain meds on time. We don’t want him to be in any pain. We want him to be at peace and pain free. The end is really near now. My brother arrived late today and my father did seem to react slightly to his voice. The rest of us have been thinking my father has been holding on to see this brother. It’s my turn tonight to stay over night with dad. The rest went to their hotels. We’ll see how the night goes. Here is the third picture in my series.

I took a long walk today and used the exercise app to walk 1.30 miles.

Lots of Visitors

We had a busy day at the facility today. The Hospice nurse came in and checked out my dad. She also gave us some tips on how to keep him comfortable. She also said that it is a matter of days now before he dies. She made sure his pain meds were being given on a regular basis as well. The home health lady came in today too. She gave him a great bath, shaved him, washed his hair, put on a new shirt and she even changed the sheets on the bed! She did an amazing job! He looked so different after her visit. The social worker came in today as well. She told us we probably aren’t too far away from his death. She told us what we need to do when he passes and who to call, etc. It was some good information but it was beginning to feel sad that the end is coming. Here’s the second picture in my documentation of this process.

I took several walks today using the exercise app. I walked 1.55 miles. It was good to get out and get some air. Another sister has joined us at the facility so there are lots of people here now. Another brother is coming later this week.

Down To Charlottesville

Today I drove down to Charlottesville to be with my dad. He does not look good. He’s barely moving or reacting to anything right now. He’s not eating and not drinking anything. My brother and sister are still here and they report he hasn’t taken food or water all weekend. I was surprised by how much he’s declined. I’ve decided to document this end of life process with black and white photos. Here’s the first one.

I walked a total of 2.61 miles today.