Wondering

The pea green numbers on the clock just blinked 7:23 PM. The digital cable is tuned to channel 31 and WGN out of Chicago is showing a rerun of Will & Grace. You remember seeing that episode years ago. The wind has picked up and you can hear the screen on the window rattle behind your head. The computer has two large windows open. One on gay.com and one on AOL. No one is chatting…with you. Flashbacks of your day, your past, your future rush through your mind. Cheney and Scalia. The book you keep meaning to finish. Brad not calling. Shawn calling. Your dermatology appointment next week. What you'll do with your time off this summer. You can't keep your mind on one topic. Your brain flits from one image to another. What time should you go to bed? Should you take your lunch tomorrow? Why hasn't Brad called you back? Should you take that guy up on his offer for coffee this weekend? Woody Harelson was awful on Will & Grace. The wind is supposed to calm by morning. Why can't your mind focus? Do you need to focus or can you just spend time thinking about a million things without care? You decide nothing needs to be done, accomplished tonight. Thinking, worrying, transient thoughts are fine for the time being. Or are they? Fickle.

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