Anticipation

Sometimes I am consumed with anticipation. It takes over so much of my brain power and creates frustration. I can’t stand it sometimes.

I am currently anticipating the arrival of my new iMac G5. I ordered it on August 31st. The web site said it would be here in 3 weeks. It’s been 3 weeks today. Now the web site is saying it will be delivered on or before September 29th. Argh! I want it today! I want it now! Last week I got the Airport Express so that I could go wireless with my internet connection. I’m using it now with my old iMac but it’s not as fast as it will be with my new iMac because the old iMac has the old airport card and the new one will have the new airport card that will deliver data rates up to 54 megabits per second. I’ve used it with my lap top and it’s very fast. I want that speed with my desk top NOW! The anticipation is killing me!

Recently I received book recommendations from some fellow bloggers and gay fiction lovers. I ordered these books and they came in today. I just started a new book and can’t wait to finish it so that I can start these books. I heard some really good things about the first two. I have to be patient and finish the current book before getting into another book. I know some people can read two or three books at a time. I have tried that in the past and it was unsuccessful. I wish I could juggle it so that I could get into these stories. Again, the anticipation is killing me!

The anticipation of finding love is also consuming me. I think about it too much probably. People tell me that when you are least expecting it or not looking for it, it will come along. I’m not sure I believe that. It’s so elusive. In my process of getting over him, I’ve been on a few dates and met a few guys but none of them have panned out. I’ve been proactive and asked guys out and talked to guys in bars and online. But nothing is coming from my efforts. My good friend David is kind of dating a guy. I’m very happy for him. As I mentioned in the past, it seems that when David finds a new interest, I don’t. I need to be patient. But it’s so hard.

The anticipation is killing me!

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