Last night I took my friend David out to dinner for his birthday. We went to Maggianos. There was a 40 minute wait so we went shopping while we were waiting. David and are going to a Halloween Party/One Year Anniversary Party/House Warming Party for my friend Michael, so we need to get a gift. We went to Pottery Barn and bought a nice vase and had it gift wrapped. When we got back to Maggianos we only had to wait a few more minutes before being seated.

I was going to get a glass of wine and David was too but then we decided to go ahead and get a bottle. David talked me into it…like he had to twist my arm. We ordered and our waitress soon brought our wine. I'm not one for fancy restaurants at all but I was impressed when the waitress opened the wine and had David taste it before pouring our glasses. I didn't think Maggianos was that kind of place. Nice. After the first glass I was feeling really relaxed. Good feeling after a long week. So we enjoyed our wine and soon the food came. It was very good. Huge portions! I ate way too much. I think David enjoyed his as well. We had some nice conversation and we talked about getting older and how he felt about 36. It's no big deal to him. I said wait until he turns 40. Luckily he has a few more years. It was a nice evening.

When I got home from dinner with David, I had 3 messages on my voice mail. One from Homer. He called to say hello. Sorry I missed your call, Homer! Then I had two calls from two straight women from work. They were at a local bar and wanted me to come out and join them. The messages were obviously drunk dials. I called one of them back on her cell phone and talked for awhile to several drunk colleagues. There must have been 4 of them there. I'm so glad I didn't go out! Those women are crazy. They were all pretty drunk and talking about all kinds of crazy things you usually don't talk about with your colleagues. I'll have to make fun of them on Monday.

David has decided to dress up for the party tonight. I don't think I will but I do have an old Fred Flinstone costume I could wear if I decided to dress up. It's very warm in DC today so I don't know if I want to dress up and get all sweaty. Plus, if there are any new men at this party, I would want to make a good first impression. You never know who you might meet at parties. After all, Michael met his current boyfriend exactly one year ago today at a Halloween Party we went too. It could happen.

I have a fashion question: Are black jeans out? I was going to wear black jeans and an orange shirt to work yesterday until the young drunk women from work told me black jeans are out. How are you supposed to know this? I mean, I only wear them once a year on Halloween. I think that would be okay. But then again they are tapered. The young drunk women told me that black jeans are bad enough but tapered black jeans are even worse. I'm so old.

Today’s episode is on cooking breakfast for dinner. This is a simple task if you have all the ingredients and you know what you’re doing.

Our special guest Chef, Homer decided to cook pancakes, eggs, and hash browns for Archerr. Homer shredded the potatoes, put oil in the pan, and began frying them up. Uh, oh, did you forget to drain the excess water from the shredded potatoes before putting them in the pan? If this happens, you will soon get mush. While Homer was working on the potatoes, Archerr combined the rare, and unusual organic ingredients to make the pancake batter. Once the griddle was at the precise temperature (350 degrees F for those who need this information), Archerr ladled the battery onto the griddle in the shape of of the solar system paying close attention to the size of each planet and not forgetting Uranus.

After the commercial break, Homer, our guest chef, realized the hash browns were turning into potato pancakes. Being the flexible and experienced chef that he is, suggested we continue cooking the hash browns on the griddle and turning them into potato pancakes. Brilliant! Once the potatoes were on the griddle with the pancakes, Homer moved his attention to the eggs from caged free chickens. After a quick whip with a whisk he began stirring the eggs while the heat began turing them into fluffy piles. Archerr continued creating the solar system and managing the potato pancakes at the same time. Would all the buffet items be ready at the same time. Stay tuned!

After our final commercial break, we see Homer spooning the fluffy piles of caged free scrambled eggs decoratively onto two shiny dinner plates. At the same time, Archerr is retrieving the last of the honey brown pancakes from the solar system and adding them to each plate. Finally, the hash browns which are now potato pan cakes are added on the side. With the right condiments, and the right vintage of apple juice, the meal was complete. Archerr and Homer sit down with napkins on laps and begin the feast. The smells, the flavors, the atmosphere…just divine! Well worth the work.

But who will clean up the kitchen?