One Last Time, I Promise

For the last week I have been an emotional mess. Everything I do I think of Shawn. Would Shawn like that movie? Shawn’s probably watching BB5 right now. I wonder what Shawn is doing? I could not stop thinking about Shawn. Would he move back to DC? Did he ever even love me? Does he have feelings for me still? I could not get over Shawn. I had a phone conversation with him this afternoon. We rehashed everything over again. Where would this go? What would happen? What does the future hold? Over and over. Shawn has no intention of moving back to DC or even considering it at this time. He doesn’t have the same feelings for me that he once had. He’s casually dating someone too. He’s living in the future and I’m stuck in the past. Everyone I talk to says I have to forget Shawn and move on. The only way I will be able to get over him is to stop talking to him and move on. Talking with Shawn about this one more time was very painful. While talking to him I came to the conclusion that I have to stop all contact with him for the time being. It’s the only way. I ended the conversation saying that I’ll be in touch with him sometime in the future. I had yet another cry about it and then I decided that’s it. I have to move on. I then watched a french film I rented. It’s called Confusion of Genders. The film is not important but I do know it’s one Shawn would enjoy. But there was one scene in the film that pretty much summed it up. Click on the picture above to see the subtitles. That’s how I felt and I can’t feel like that anymore. So as of this moment I will no longer write about Shawn and all the pain. I’m sure some of my readers will be glad they won’t have to read about him anymore. If and when the time comes that I have moved on and am over him, I will get in touch with him. He said that no matter how long it takes that he’ll still want to be my friend. Until that time, I’m moving on.

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