Long Day

/ Paul / Leave a comment

Today I had a reminder of what the next 10 months will be like. The alarm went off at 5:00 AM and I had to drag my ass out of bed. I have not gotten up that early since June. Did the morning routine and was at school by 6:30. Met some colleagues for breakfast and then we were all off to a meeting by 8:30. Got back to school at 12:30. Then had lunch with more colleagues and finished just in time to have a meeting at 2:00. The meeting wasn't over until 4:10 and I didn't get home until 4:40. That was a long day. The meetings went fine and hanging out with the colleagues was fine too. The bad part was I was having withdrawals from getting my e-mail and being able to reply right away as well as blogging and checking out the threads on the Tribe. I couldn't find one minute today to get away and check the e-mail. I guess for the next 10 months if you send me an e-mail I won't be able to reply until I get home. It looks as though my schedule is going to keep me from having any free time to play on the computer this year. Well, I'll just have to retrain my brain to e-mail and blog when I get home.

I had planned to write earlier this evening but I've just spent the last 3 hours on the phone. A friend called to chat about his boyfriend problems. I listened and offered support where appropriate. Then I talked to David several times about all kinds of things. He was telling me about his latest conquests. The guy sounds adorable. I told him to hold on tight and make it happen. Then I got a little misty and said, “I want a boyfriend.” Then he quickly returned with, “It's my turn!” I started laughing. He reminded me that I've had like 5 boyfriends since he had one. He said it was his turn to have one. It's funny though, when I have a boyfriend, he doesn't. When he has an interest, I won't. It's like we have to take turns. I guess I'll let him have his turn and I'll take a break for awhile. But as soon as it ends with adorable guy, it's my turn again. Hahahaha

I've seen this Quiz on several blogs. I told myself awhile ago I wasn't going to take another quiz. It seems the information is only interesting to the person who takes them. But since this one was about relationships, I decided to find out what kind of relationship guy I am. Interesting results. I do think most of it is correct. Especially about approaching the opposite sex….I have no problem talking to women. It's men that cause me stress. Anyway, here are the results:

You are a XPYG–Expressive Practical Physical Giver. This makes you a Roving Spouse.

You are magnetic, charming, and impossible to resist. You have no problem with approaching the opposite sex — it just comes naturally to you, and the thrill of warming up a stranger is one of your great drives. Still, very few people really know you. You don't just *feel* misunderstood — you are. You are probably nursing a heartache that you never let on.

You're calm in a conflict (almost *too* calm — a more emotional partner may wonder why you're not more engaged) and quick with affection. Fighting makes you uncomfortable, but as you avoid direct conflict your frustrations can manifest in the cold shoulder and passive-aggression, which is no better! Still, you make a loving, doting parent — giving more love than discipline — and your children prefer you.

Like an XSYG, you put so much thought and effort in what you give to your partner that you feel dismissed and unappreciated if you don't get the same in return. You also give and think so much that you can also talk yourself into cheating — physically or emotionally — and this can lead a cycle of conflict, guilt, conflict-avoidance, chilly atmosphere and then more cheating. But you'll stay with your partner in the long run from guilt and a desire to please.

You've got to open up! You express and give so much of yourself in other ways — don't be afraid to express what's bothering you.

I'm only being so hard on you because you remind me of me.

Of the 1820 people who have taken this quiz, 16.7 % are this type.

So who wants to be my boyfriend or ask me out? (grin)

Thoughts Of The Day

/ Paul / Leave a comment

Next week it's back to work. This week I've been going in a few hours each day to get a head start on my classroom. Each year it seems that I need more and more time to get the same amount of work done. This is my 18th year of teaching and I'm not tired of it yet. I still love it. When I go back to work to get a start on my classroom there are other teachers milling about and starting their classrooms as well. Of course you have to stop what you are doing and talk about what you did over the summer. I feel like holding up a sign saying that I had a nice summer except for my trip to Oklahoma. But I won't do that. So I'm polite and tell them about my trip and listen to their summer adventures. I don't really care what the hell they did over the summer. I'm only being nice. I'd much rather be working on getting things set up in my classroom. That's why I go to work a week early. Next year it will be two weeks early probably.

On the drive to school this week, and it's a really short drive, I started to notice again all the eye candy I see on the way. Each year I forget that lots of hot guys are going to work at that time of the morning and I have a brief moment of lust when I drive by them and see them all dressed up and ready for work. Long term relationship fantasies rush through my mind in the 3 or 4 seconds they pass to my left or right. Are they single? Are they gay? Do they live around here? How old are they? Catch up to them again and take one more look! He might wink or something! But as usual nothing happens. Kinda silly anyway. I've never heard of someone finding a boyfriend on their drive to work.

Seeing this eye candy, having the relationship fantasies, and having the courage to talk to someone when I was out with K on Monday night made me think that I have to be proactive if I am going to find a man. K invited me out again for drinks with some of his friends on Sunday but my brother is coming in town and we are having dinner with my mother so I can't go. I was really hyped about it though. I was ready to go out again and talk to some strangers. Hahaha There are certain things I could do to at least increase the chances of meeting someone. I've been a non-paying member of Match.com for awhile. The only problem with that is that you can't e-mail anyone who e-mails you unless you are a paying member or unless they have included a different e-mail address in their initial e-mail to you. Did you follow that? So after Sunday's decision, I reactivated my Match.com profile and sure enough, within 24 hours I had three e-mails from guys I couldn't e-mail back. So I took the plunge and paid for a six month subscription. I was able to e-mail them back. One guy lives in Chicago (and no, it wasn't Mr. ATF…who I haven't heard from by the way), one lives way out in Maryland and one lives in the DC area. I didn't reply to the one in Chicago, I shot e-mails back and forth with the one way out in Maryland but turned it down because it's way to far to drive for a date, and the one in the area who started the e-mail with me hasn't e-mailed me back. Oh well. That's only the first few days. I'm sure others will e-mail me sometime. The bold thing though is that I actually e-mailed two guys who I found interesting. I've never done that before. I have been encouraged to do so in the past and there was one guy I've had an interest in for awhile. He was one I e-mailed. But as I could have expected, neither of them have e-mailed me back. No big deal. The important thing is that I e-mailed them. My confidence is rising.

This Saturday is the DC Gay Bloggers Brunch. It's going to be held at Trio's on 17th street in DC. I think there are about 15 people who will be there. I don't know any of them except through some of their blogs. I am looking forward to meeting them though. It will be very awkward for me because I've never met any of them and I'll be going alone. I'm very shy in groups of people. I fear I will become that wall flower and clam up. I hope I will either have the confidence to talk or that someone else will engage me in conversation. Either way, it should be a fun event. I'm looking forward to it. And if any of you reading this are also DC Gay Bloggers, you should join us. Thanks to Chrisafer at Blah, Blah, Black Sheep for coordinating this event.

Oh, and one more thing. I have 5 Gmail invites if anyone is looking for a Gmail account. Gmail is the e-mail system that Google has. I use mine for junk e-mail and it has been working quite well. If you would like an invite, feel free to e-mail me and tell me why I should give you one. 🙂 I'll probably give it to you anyway, but I want to hear why I should give you one.

Mail Bag

/ Paul / Leave a comment

I've never shared e-mails that I've gotten before. And I actually don't get many e-mails from my blog entries. But I did receive a very flattering e-mail recently that I just had to share. It made me feel so good about my writing and my blog. I'm sure others get mail like this too, but I just wanted to share the one that touched me so much.

“Hi, Archerr –
I have been reading your blog all summer. I'm back to work next week, and I'm sure I won't be able to continue following your blog as thoroughly as I have during the summer. I just wanted to say thank you for your blog. I appreciate that you write in a way that I can understand what you're saying. So many of the gay bloggers I've looked at write in such a way…with vocabulary, syntax, sentence structure, references and allusions…that I really can''t make out half of what they're saying. You write about every day things in an every day manner. You write every day. Those things are important. Getting to know a person, I think, means the constant, every day, accumulation of many many details. You provide those details. Reading your blog, however, makes me realize there are indeed fine young gay men out there with intelligence, sensitivity, and caring for others.

I realized that in reading your blog I am, in effect, reading an autobiography AS IT HAPPENS, and you provide the minutiae of detail that makes for a good autobiography…for true understanding of another human being's make-up…that slow accumulation of evidence of how a person reacts and feels during daily travails over a long period of time. And you are fascinating. Because of my age and location, I was always just a little behind the curve of the sexual revolution, always a little too old and living in a little too conservative situations, to take part in in that cultural schism. And reading in your blog about how you live, how you feel and react to situations, provides me with a “window” on to a younger, “freer” mindset. And the fact that you are an intelligent, caring young man makes the experience so much more meaningful to me.

Thank you for allowing me to “get to know” such a person. Best wishes for the future. You have a lot of years ahead of you, and I'm sure you WILL find a new love, Archerr.”

Certain details were edited with permission.

Thanks to everyone for the comments and e-mails about my night out on Monday. Don't worry, I will NOT be drinking and driving again. I was just tipsy anyway, but I get the hint and the clue. Thanks for the comments!

Oh. My. God.

/ Paul / Leave a comment

So I went to DC tonight to meet K. for dinner and drinks and a chat. We went to, hell, I can't remember the name of the place but we had pizza and a few drinks. Then we went to DIK…Dupont Italian Kitchen bar for a few drinks. Then we went to JR's and I saw the most beautiful man there. K. kept tempting me to talk to him. So K. went to get us another round and he was gone for awhile and I got up enough nerve to talk to Mr. ATF from Chicago (as he will now be known). I can't believe I actually had the nerve or enough alcohol in my body to talk to a complete stranger. I've only done that one other time in my life. Damn, I am having to backspace a delete all my misspellings. Anyway, while K. is gone I strike up a conversation with Mr. ATF from Chicago and we really hit it off. He is GORGEOUS and very personable. He had been standing there next to K and I for quite a long time. Anyway, Mr. ATF is from Chicago here on business and is here until Friday. We talk for quite a long time with those little touches that gay men do and then K. comes back and I realize how rude I've been and I say I have to go. K. and I go to back to DIK and have a few more drinks and talk some more and he says he knows I want to go back to JRs and find Mr. ATF from Chicago. I say I do. Since I parked at K.'s house, he says he'll leave my keys under the garbage can and he will go home. I say my goodbyes and back I go to JR's. Sure enough Mr. ATF from Chicago is still there. I work my way through all the S&M (stand and model) guys and find Mr. ATF from Chicago. Turns out he sings in the Gay Men's Chorus in Chicago and knows two of the bloggers I check out regularly. They sing together in the chorus. So Mr. ATF from Chicago and I stand there and talk and sing show tunes for a good long time. Did I mention that he's GORGEOUS? He gets me a drink, we sing some more, we touch some more, I am totally into him and then it happens. Another guy, MUCH better looking then I, starts giving him the eye. I get the signal. I'm not as stupid as some people think. Anyway, Mr. ATF and I sing some more and then I decide I need to cut out because Mr. Stand and Model is really giving him the eye and now he is actually accepting it. So I say I have to leave and Mr. ATF from Chicago gives me his card and we hug and I give him a light peck on the cheek and say it was great hanging out with him. I leave. I am very drunk at this time and not sure I can make it back to K.'s house to get my keys and leave the city. I am actually worried about it. But I do the drunk walk to his house alone, find my keys, and safely drive home. Although, I was so drunk I should NOT have been on the road. God dammit! What the fuck is wrong with me? Man, I SOOOOO enjoyed the attention from Mr. ATF from Chicago. He was so fuckin hot. I would SOOOO do him. Ops..maybe I shouldn't be writing this while I'm still drunk. Fuck it. I don't give a shit. I had fun and for only the second time in my LIFE I actually approached someone I found attractive and talked to him. Damn, too bad Mr. Stand and Model got in the way. No big deal. At least I got out there and started approaching people. Thanks K.!!!!!